i've gotten so much new music in the last two weeks its disgusting.

Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis/Butcher ABC - Split CD: ok we all know Paracoccidioidomicosisproctitissarcomucosis has the most ridiculous band name of all time. to bad it doesn't help there song writing prowess. they fucking suck ass. boring ass grindcore on the death metal side of the coin. if it wasn't for their name, no one would listen to them. the Butcher ABC side however, is reason enough to get this record. totally sick grind the reminds me of the best stuff Regurgitate ever did but played sloppily to the point were it sounds like the band could fall apart at any second. totally sick.

Scissor Shock - We're In The Trash Bag CD: I wish this was longer as it's just over 10 minutes. It's insane digi-grind that totally fucks your mind. it sounds like the songs were recorded at normal pace then sped up for added intensity making songs really hard to follow, but in a good way. i love this.

Emil Beaulieau - Emil Beaulieau Has A Relapse CD: I now know why Emil Beaulieau is considered America's Greatest Living Noise Artist. this is my first record by him, and will no doubt be my last. from what I understand, Relapse commissioned Emil to remix a bunch tracks from their releases from the year this came out (i'm assuming sometime in the early 90's) using his own unique style. the result is a totally fucked yet totally coherent and amazing noise album. this is the kind of record I would play for someone to get them into noise. I love it.

Cock E.S.P. - Greatest Dicks Vol. 1 CD: fucked noise that is obsessed with penises and dick jokes. always a plus in my book. This record is totally crushing and since it's a collection, is a totally good introduction to the band. I'll have to check out more of their stuff in the future.

Gasp - Drome Triler Of Puzzle Zoo People CD: Everyone keeps labeling this band as power violence and I can't really say I agree. I do agree that they are awesome, and maybe they have 1 or two songs that sound like power violence, but they ain't PV. Just because a band was signed to Slap-A-Ham doesn't mean they are PV. In fact I really fucking hate the genre name power violence...what does that even mean??!! anyway. these guys sound more "true" screamo, or skramz (two more ridiculous genre names) in the vein of Neil Perry, but with sweet tape loops and noise in between songs. I totally dig this record.

Tjolgtjar - Holnijimnjok CD: this isn't my first experience with the Reverend, I have an album by Xexyz his NESBM band, which is pretty cool in its own right. But this album was pretty cool. It reminded me of an ultra lo-fi version of the Nachtmystium album "Instinct:Decay" because it had all these ultra reverbed guitar solos here and there in between the chainsaw like guitar tones. I'll definitely be tracking down more of his releases.

Wold - Screech Owl CD: Oh man. I've been dying to hear this band for so long. If the determination of how tr00 kvlt you are is determined by how lo-fi your band is, then when a dictionary that has the term tr00 kvlt in it will have a picture of Wold. This has to be the noisiest non-noise record I've heard...ever. it's black metal, but the guitars and drums are lost behind a wall of noise. it's like they recorded the songs then distorted them. then there are blasts of harsh noise on here. everything is overblown and crazy. i've been wanting to start a band like this for years, but they beat me to the punch.

Incapacitants - Ministry Of Foolishness CD: rarely do my ears hurt from anything. going to see a live band, operating heavy machinery, etc, my ears are fine. but listening to this actually caused pain in my ears. there is so much high pitched frequencies at such a regular basis in this album, that it actually caused my ears to tremble and winch after listening to it. good shit though. Harsh noise. you know the drill.

324 - Rebelgrind CD: this album sucks. well it doens't suck, it blows out of the water every metalcore and screamo band going in the world today, but its not metalcore nor is it screamo, it's a grindcore record. and its way to technical and clean for my tastes, it reminds me of Rotten Sound alot. I know a lot of weeaboo douche bags out there are probably jerking off to this as we speak just because it's Japanese, but honestly it's boring, and disappointing because I'd heard so much good stuff about this band. i mean it's not torture to listen to, but i felt myself drifting away from it. oh well, i can't win them all.

Sutcliffe Jügend - First Official Live Action CD: A blasted, overblown awesome record. you can hear the crowd getting into this swirling evolving mass of noise, with sweet angry as fuck vocals. I love this shit.

Akitsa - Sang Nordique CD: I got this after I got their split with Prurient (scroll down for a review of that). I don't know though, it sounded completely different from the split. There are fast hardcore-inspired parts and stuff, which are definitely the best part of black metal, but the riffs are piss poor. and the vocals are really weak. apparently this is an older release, from before the split. I guess they got better with age.

Death in June - Rule Of Thirds 2x10" picture disc: This was my first exposure to DIJ. i'd heard about them for years, but never could track down any of their records, which I've come to find out, is because they only came out in small press runs, even the reissues. I've been curious especially with the imagery they choose to use on their records, and the genre "neo-folk". I had no idea what to expect. What I should have expected by the term neo-folk is gothic folk music. Deep singing over an acoustic guitar woth great lyrics. I dig this, but it feels like something is missing. I would like to hear earlier albums by them, because DIJ came recommended to me by so many people.

Witch - Paralyzed LP: I have their self-titled album, and I listen to it all the fucking time. It has some of the catchiest riffs I've ever heard on it. It's absolutely killer. This album isn't so much as killer. It's more maimer, nah it's more wounder. they decided it would a good idea to play fast for some reason. Normally I'd be all about a band playing faster, but here it was a terrible idea. and he riffs suck now. go get the self-titled album instead.

Macho Man Randy Savage - Be A Man CD: Once in a while you will experience an event that is so important, it will change your life completely. I experienced such and event. It was when I pressed play after putting this CD into my CD player. First you are hit with an intro where it is described that women find Macho Man sexy, which he is. I'd go bottom for Macho, if he wanted. Then for the next 40 or so minutes, you are bombarded with the phattest beats, the most killer ryhmes, and the most amazing uses of the word "butt" in the history of recorded music. I slept on buying this when it came out in 2003, and for some reason the idiotic population of the world didn't buy many copies so all the unsold copies got sent back to the label, and were most likely recycled, so the only copies floating around were the smart people who bought one. I finally won an auction on ebay for this one, and my life improved. it was like becoming born-again, or finally coming out of the closet. This album will change your life. you need to own this.

Nachtmystium - Assassins: Black Meddle Pt 1 CD: Instinct:Decay is one of those albums that will be considered a cornerstone of a genre. Assassins will be the album that takes Nachtmystium out of obscurity and propels them to the mainstream of metal. It sucks because a lot of douche bags with start listening to them, but they are so good that they deserve success. I honestly feel that this album will put Nachtmystium (you can't abbreviate a single word an that sucks. [abbreviateion of Nachtmystium: N, lol]) will be the next Dimmu Borgir, in terms of popularity, based on this release. But much better than them. the album itself takes what the band did on Instinct:Decay and explores the psychedelic sounds ever further, while still continuing with their brutal black metal sound. This album fucking rules. Know I just need to know when their split with Leviathan is coming out, if ever.

Godflesh - Us And Them CD: i check the local FYE now an again for used CD's, and will pop into the metal section to laugh at the new shit that comes out. I'll look to see if they have stuff that I want and they fail everytime. when looking for the most recent Gallhammer CD I saw they had this CD new for 5 bucks. I've never seen a Godflesh CD in that store ever, and this randomly pops up. weird. anyway. I've never heard of this album, but for five bucks I couldn;t go wrong. It's different from any Godflesh I'veheard, but in a good way. It seems they decided to explore IDM on this album, and they can hold a candle to any of the big name IDM acts, judging by this. this album ruled. what a great find.

David Cross - Shut Up You Fucking Baby! CD: this isn't music, but it's still a record, so it gets a review. this came out in 2002, so some of the jokes are dated, but not by very much. the album is absolutely hilarious though. get this now.

Ascend - Ample Fire Within CD: After being totally dissappointed with the Pentemple album, i was kind of apprehensive about getting this record, just because. I know there is no correlation between the two records at all, especially after hearing this. this album is massive and crushing. I was expecting something more along the lines of the lighter songs on the SunnO)))/Boris album. Really this a an epic psychedelic doom metal record. The use of the organ on some the tracks is great, and the riffs are totally crushing. If you were as disappointed by the Pentemple album as I was, pick this up. so fucking good.

Akitsa/Prurient - Split CD: Akitsa have two long tracks that really go by fast, which is weird because normally I find long BM song tortuous. I guess because there is so many dynamics to these songs that they feel much more complete and interesting, as opposed to most 20 minutes black metal songs that one chord progression played slow for 12 minutes and then a fast part for 3 minutes then the original chord progression the remaining 5 minutes. I really enjoyed their stuff on this split. Prurient offers a 30 minute live recording, and it's totally brutal and satisfying. Dominick Fernow is one of my favorite noise artists. It sucks that his record store closed, it was definitely the best one in Manhattan (even though his stuff was WAAAAY over priced).

Beherit - Drawing Down The Moon CD: I was really late into hearing Beherit, but I bought Oath Of Black Blood las years and was killer, and I slept on buying this album for so long. I don't know, this record is weak compared to OOBB. it doesn't rip as much and the vocals are absolutely terrible. and the tracks are way to fucking long. I know some KVLT douchebags are gonna crucify me for this, but fuck this album.

Vulcano - Bloody Vengeance CD: I finally was able to get a hold of this, because all the old Conguelmo Records releases have been reissued and Relapse distributes them in the States. This shit kicked my ass. total fast ripping thrash/black metal. I don't get why so many awesome black metal bands are from Brazil. it's neither grim nor is it frostbitten there. oh well, I have a sweet record now nonetheless.

Meshuggah - Obzen CD: I've always liked Meshuggah, but I bought Chaoshpere mad long ago, and I've always felt I didn't need anything else by them. I like there stuff but it's all so similar, and I know i would never listen to them on a regular basis. However, I got this new album for free and it was worth every penny. I don't know though, it's not anything special. It sounds like Meshuggah.

Toxic Holocaust - Demo 2007 12" picture disc: This record totally rips. Normally I get bummed when one of my favorite bands gets signed to a large label because that pretty much guarantees that when you go to see them douchebags will fill up the shows. But in TH's case I don't care, because they are so awesome it means they will tour more often! anyway, these 5 tracks are total ragers, with some of the best riffs ever this side of the first two Venom records. I can't wait for the full-length that will follow up this EP.

Agathocles/Avulsion - split 7": Sweet grind-ahem-mincecore from AG. You know what this sounds like. THough it doesn sound like they've invested in either a digital audio softwware program, or bought a mixing board or something because it sounds pretty clean. well clean for agathocles. I have a 7" by a band called Avulsion, and it totally rips. this must not be the same band because it's boring ass, tired sounding grind. get this for AG's side.

Widespread Bloodshed/Massgrav split 7": Sweet crusty thrash played super fast from both bands. not much more to say about this.

The Gossip/Sissy Spacek split 7": my first time hearing both bands. both bands sides are live recordings. The Gossip however is a live track that is cut up and made into completely new composition. It's hard to describe genre so I'm going to go with rock noise. yeah that works. Sissy Spacek's side is fucking killer. it's 4 brutal noisecore songs played they way it should be played: at super speed. no riffs, all blasts and noise, plus sick vocals. i will most definitely getting more albums by them.

Pain Jerk/Bastard Noise split 7": A short but sweet record. Pain Jerk has one track of brutal harsh noise that swells and twists and scares anyone with wimpy ears. Bastard Noise's track is more of a low droning type of noise track, with bubbly electronic noises hear and there. The other side is a 5 minute collaborative track with harsh noise and vocals. good stuff.

OM/Current 93 - Inherent Rays Of Infallible Sun split 10": This is my first time hearing Current 93, and it was pretty cool. It was like chanting over a repetitive electric guitar part there was bass and even some bagpipe in there. I would like to hear other stuff by them (him). The Om side is awesome. More repetitive chanting but accompanied by bass and drums. If you've heard their other records it's more of the same sound you've come to know and love. What's cool about Om is even though they have 3 full lengths and 2 splits out (not including the new live LP cause it sucks, scroll down) they only have 11 studio songs, so they aren't choking their listeners with filler content.

Conquest For Death - Front Row Tickets To Armageddon LP: 13 tracks of hyper thrash that sounds like What Happens Next?. makes sense considering 3 of 5 members where that band. I was pissed this was one sided, because it was over to quickly.

Deathstorm - We Are Deathstrom LP: I've been waiting for this one for about a year now. I'm not even sure how I first stumbled upon their myspace, but i've been writing their label ever since asking when this was to be released. It finally came out last week, and of course the only way for me to get it was to buy it from a distro in Europe. 35 euros later (10 euros for the record 26 for the shipping...absolute bullshit if you ask me) aka 55 US dollars and 5 days it arrives on my doorstep. For those of you who don't know Deathstorm is Bong-Ra and some Japanese dude Maruosa doing vocals. what you get is insane digi-grind, or insane breakcore with psychotic vocals depending on your perspective. I say buy this shit now. I believe there is only 300 copies pressed so don't sleep on this one.

Om - Live In Jerusalem LP: I love Om, but this sucks. Not the playing of the band, but the recording is so fucking terrible. it sounds like someone set up one mic at the back of the space that this was recorded at. it's cavernous sounding; so much so that the bass notes are indistinguishable. pass on this one and buy all their other records.

Bane - The Note picture disc LP: It took me years to get into Bane. Maybe it was all the dumb ass hoodies you see at shows that say "BANE" in huge letters, maybe it was their terrible vocals, but dammit i used to hate them. Then I listened to the one CD I had again after like 5 years of not listening to them. It all of a sudden made sense. So I was actually excited to get this record. It's not anything new, it sounds like every other Bane record I have, bt it's still high quality hardcore. I still fucking hate those hoodies though.

Blacklisted - Heavier Than Heaven, Lonelier Than God LP: I have a singles collection from them that is ok enough, it's not torture to listen to. then I heard their last album and totally wrote them off because it blew. I picked this album because I got it for cheap from my job. It totally kicked my ass. Modern straight edge (i'm not sure if they are a sXe band however) youth crew style style ripping hardcore. my copy is sweet clear/clear blue swirled vinyl too!

Paint It Black - Lexicon Devil LP: It's taken me a long time to get into this band. I saw them like 4 years ago with Against Me! and hated them, but then I saw them last summer at the final Rambo show and they totally impressed me. I guess 4 years can do that to a band, what with all the playing together and stuff. This record fucking kicked ass- aggressive melodic hardcore but not in a Fat Wreck Chords kind of way. Plus mine came on white vinyl to boot!

Havohej - Tungkat Blood Wand 10": This record rules. THough Havohej has made black metal in the past, the record is more black noise. It's full of waves of dark sounds and Paul Ledney's signature vocals. It's still killer, but it's definitely not TR00. I say buy this though.

damn.